


you have family here (with me)

by girlsinthestars



Series: Roswell Fix-it [1]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Fix-It, Fluff, Getting Back Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-09 16:15:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19479496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlsinthestars/pseuds/girlsinthestars
Summary: Michael has lived his whole life convinced he needs to leave to find his family, so making him realise he has family on Earth is a bit of a learning curve.orThe season finale made me sad so I fixed it. Also I have big feelings about Michael so this turned into a kind of character study.





	you have family here (with me)

Maria had been watching him silently from her place behind the bar all afternoon. It was disconcerting to say the least, like she was looking right into his soul, trying to determine something. They hadn’t talked yet. It had been a few days but they still hadn’t gotten around to talking yet. Michael really, really didn’t want to. Because Alex was one of her best friends, so it would be complicated, and he didn’t want complicated right now. He wanted simple and happy. Max was dead, Rosa was alive, they had to work out how to explain that. Everything was a mess he just wanted one thing. Just one thing to be simply good.

“You love him.” Maria had finally put down the cups she was drying and had come around the bar to sit next to him.

Michael shrugged.

“He loves you.”

Michael shrugged again.

“Why are you scared?”

“I’m not.”

“Michael Guerin. We have known each other for far too long for you to really expect that to work on me.”

“It doesn’t matter. I want to be with you.”

“Well I don’t want to be with someone who loves someone else.”

“I don’t-” Michael didn’t even bother finishing his sentence, fully aware Maria was not in the mood to listen to blatant lies. “I want to get over him.”

Maria shook her head. “No. You don’t get to use me to get over my friend. That’s not how this works. You don’t get to leave him hanging, waiting for you, and then refuse to actually talk to me. If you really want to choose me, you get over him first. Then we can do this. But I won’t be used.”

So Alex had spoken to Maria. Told her that Michael had told him to wait so they could talk and then never shown. This was worse than complicated because it was all his fault. Impulsive choices created complications, he knew that, but the other day he had just… He had just wanted company, comfort in a place where he didn’t have to explain himself.

“I know you’re hiding something.” Maria said eventually, after long minutes of silence. “Your hand. Don’t think I didn’t notice it’s magically better.”

Michael groaned, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands.

“I don’t expect to get all my answers right away, but you know I consider you a friend, Guerin, I want to be here for you, I want to understand why you’ve hurt Alex.”

“I didn’t want to.”

“Why do you keep running from him, Michael?”

“It hurts. Loving him is killing me, ok? You don’t know the depth of it but so many bad parts of my life are all over him. It’s like I look at him and it’s all right there. Suddenly on the forefront of my mind. And I’ve tried so damn hard to seperate it but it’s always there. I just need something simple and happy. Just once in my life.”

Maria had closed her eyes as he spoke, now she opened them and grabbed his hand, gripping it between both of hers.

“You can’t just let go of him. You can’t give up. The way he talks about you, Michael, you’re everything to him.” Maria squeezed his hand, making him meet her gaze. “You at least owe him an explanation, tell him what’s going on with you, you can’t keep leaving loose ends and broken hearts in your wake, ok? It’s a cliche.” She smiled and Michael laughed halfheartedly. “It’s hurting you just as much as anyone else.”

Maria paused again, giving him room to respond but he didn’t have anything to say.

“I know you think no one cares, that you have no one. But you do. Michael, there are so many people who love you. Isobel, me, hell, even Liz is worried about you, I know Max saw you as a brother. And  _ Alex _ . You go around saying you have no one, no family, but you do Michael. We are right here. Stop pushing us away.”

Michael’s eyes stung and he wiped his cheek angrily. “I can’t.”

“You can. You just took the first step. You opened up to me. You told me what was wrong. Tell him.”

“It’s gonna hurt him. He’s gonna hate me.”

Maria laughed, shocking him. “I’m sorry, it’s just- Michael… He could never hate you. No matter how hard he tries. You’re very hard to hate, Guerin, trust me I tried.”

“I just want to make it work with you.”

“That’s what I want too, but Michael, I won’t until you’ve made nice with my best friend, until you’ve talked to him.”

Michael looked away, pulling his hand out of Maria’s grip. 

* * *

Michael stopped going out. Just holed himself up thinking over the same two issues over and over with no break. He’d been avoiding Isobel for a week, she wouldn’t talk about herself and she kept looking at him with a sympathetic expression. Maria didn’t sound like she wanted to see him until he had managed to talk to Alex. And he was yet to get the balls to talk to Alex. He was kind of hoping Alex would come see him, but obviously that wasn’t going to happen. Alex wasn’t going to come running back to him, that wasn’t how the world worked. He had fucked up. He had hurt Alex and it wasn’t on him to come running back, it was on Michael to run after him, it was his turn to show Alex he loved him. But he couldn’t. Everything hurt. Talking to Isobel hurt, seeing Alex hurt, lying in bed at home, not turning up to work, it all hurt. He didn’t know how to fix anything.

“Michael? Are you in there?” Isobel’s voice cut through the thick silence that had surrounded him.

He didn’t respond, so she opened the door and walked right in.

“Michael, this is ridiculous. I talked to Liz, who talked to Maria, no one’s seen you in days, you can’t just hide for the rest of your life.”

“I dunno, seems to be working.”

“ _ Michael _ . Talk to me.”

“Why don’t you talk to me, Is? Your life fell apart and you won’t even admit you’re hurting.”

“Like you’re one to talk.”

Michael shrugged, heading for the kitchen area. “You want a drink?”

“Michael, come on, I’ll talk if you do. Sit down. Start with the surface stuff. What happened with Maria?”

“She said she doesn’t want to be used to get over Alex.”

“Ok, Michael, I don’t often agree with DeLuca, but that seems reasonable.”

“I know. She said I had to talk to him.”

“Again, weirdly enough, I agree.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

Michael sighed. “It’s your turn.”

Isobel rolled her eyes. “Fine. I… I’m not doing well. My house is so… It’s empty. I don’t know how to get through every day, without Max and Noah it’s like… Everything that used to keep me busy and occupied is gone. And I need to be busy more than ever.”

“What about your job?”

“They made me take time off. Said I’m too emotional right now and I need to take some time to relax. But I don’t want to relax, I need- I need to be doing something.”

“Have you had any more blackouts?”

“No. It’s… In that way, I’ve been ok.”

“How can I help?”

“Would you… I think it could help both of us if you moved in with me.”

“I don’t want your charity.”

“Please Michael, I just need my house to stop being so silent, it’s suffocating me. And being trapped in here alone is suffocating you.”

Michael felt like he was being torn open. He should have known Isobel would know. He should have known she would be feeling the same thing, the desperate need to not be alone but the inability to talk to anyone because they knew, they knew everything was wrong and all anyone wanted to do was act like they cared. Ask ‘are you ok?’ without really wanting an honest answer. 

He knew Isobel was right. It would help both of them. To have a person there, someone who could notice when things were bad and help. But it still felt silly, like Isobel was trying to treat him like a kid.

“I’m a grown man, Is, I don’t want to move in with my sister.”

“I know. But Michael, we need each other right now. Max is- was what held us together, without him we have to work harder to stay together, to help each other. He would want us to.”

“Fine.”

* * *

Michael moved in with Isobel a week later. She was right, it did help. Isobel made him get up in the morning, made him do odd jobs around the house, they both kept busy, her giving him tasks and keeping him going, him doing the neverending list of cores Isobel had managed to come up with. Liz visited once, to help move his stuff. She was quiet, her eyes empty. He still hadn’t spoken to Alex.

Isobel kept bringing it up, pushing him to go, but the longer he waited the more scared it made him. It was too late. He was sure of it. Alex wouldn’t even hear him out. Not now. But Isobel wouldn’t listen, she told him he was being a dick, it didn’t matter whether Alex would be willing to forgive him or not he still deserved an explanation. Isobel had been right a lot recently.

So he went to Alex’s house. And didn’t knock on the door. It suddenly seemed like a terrible idea, telling Alex he loved him but… ‘I love you but…’ didn’t seem like something Alex wanted to - or needed to - hear right now. Alex deserved someone who could love him right now, who didn’t have all these issues and complications that meant every time he looked at Alex he remembered all of the bad things in his life. Alex didn’t deserve someone who felt anything bad when they looked at him, he deserved someone who was happy, genuinely, more often than not.

“You’re lurking, Guerin.” Alex’s voice startled him. “Should I call the cops?”

“No!” Michael said quickly. “No, please don’t.”

“I wasn’t going to.” Alex said eventually, stepping back and leaving the door open far enough that it was clearly an invitation for Michael to come inside.

“I just… We never talked.” Michael said, following Alex into the living room.

“And whose fault is that.”

Michael nodded, he deserved that.

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, sitting down on the couch across from Alex. “I know that doesn’t mean much, but I am.”

Alex deflated a little, sinking back into the couch. “You gonna explain yourself?”

“Alex, I love you. But everything is so complicated with us. We have a history, your family wants me dead. Your family is the reason I don’t have mine. That’s all I can think when I look at you and that’s not fair to you. You deserve someone who feels nothing but love and joy when they look at you. You deserve endless, simple happiness. That person just isn’t me. I’m sorry. I wish I could be that for you, but I can’t. So when I was meant to go back to you, I went to the bar instead, I saw Maria.”

Alex shook his head, standing up. “No. You don’t get to decide what I deserve. I think I deserve to be with the man I love. I’m sick of giving up, Guerin, I’m sick of leaving, so I’m not taking the out this time, no matter how many reasons to leave you give me. If you really want to give up on us then that’s your prerogative and I hope you and Maria are happy but… I don’t.”

“I don’t know if this pain is going to go away.” Michael said. And that was the problem wasn’t it? He wasn’t sure this relationship was ever going to be salvageable and that terrified him. Because if it didn’t work out then he was going to lose Alex again. He couldn’t keep losing Alex, he’d already done that, over and over, and it took a piece of him every time.

“I don’t know either. So it’s up to you. If you think this is worth it.”

Michael stared at him, Alex sat down again. Michael wanted to run. Just say ‘nope, it isn’t worth it’ and leave. But he couldn’t, because it wasn’t true. After everything they’d been through, Michael couldn’t honestly say he didn’t think it was worth it, because it was. His connection with Alex was so deep he didn’t want to lose that, he wanted simple and he wanted easy, but he also wanted Alex. Looking at Alex now he was beginning to think… If there was even a chance this would get better, that one day he would be able to have a happy relationship with Alex, he couldn’t give up now. But he wasn’t quite ready to dive back in yet.

“Is that all?” Alex said, snapping him back into reality.

Michael nodded. “Yeah.”

“Okay.”

“I don’t want to leave.” Michael said after a beat, before he could think. He wanted to stay, just sit silently in Alex’s presence for a little while longer.

“You don’t have to.” Alex replied.

“Do you want me to?”

“No.”

It was simple. Nothing with Alex was simple, except when it was. Except when Alex got up, made them both tea and then sat back down next to him, on the same couch. When Alex laughed at his wince in reaction to the tea and told him he should try drinking something other than liquor and acetone once in a while. When they fell easily into conversation and joking and the connection between them felt stronger than ever. Michael had forgotten this. Forgotten the times when being with Alex was as easy and comfortable as playing the guitar. At least before his hand got smashed. There was some kind of irony in that comparison but Michael wasn’t really in the mood to think about it.

* * *

Maria came to see him a few days later, Isobel answered the door, let her in and then disappeared into the garden.

“Maria, I meant to come see you-” Michael started but she held up a hand.

“I talked to Alex, Michael. I’m really happy for the two of you. I think you made the right choice.” She grabbed his hand. “I need you to know I’m okay, I don’t want you feeling guilty on top of everything else. We are friends, Michael Guerin. That’s all I ever need from you, I’ll get over this. It never would have worked between us anyway.”

“Why?”

“You’re far too smart for me.”

Michael laughed, cupping Maria’s face and stroking her cheek with his thumb. “You’re okay?”

“Get over yourself, Guerin, you’re not the be all end all for me.”

Michael laughed. “Alright DeLuca, you had lunch yet?”

“Nope, why?”

“Isobel just put a pizza in the oven, you’re welcome to stay.”

Eating lunch with his sister and Maria, Michael knew she was right, he had made the right choice. He and Alex never would have been okay if they had left everything the way it was, if they hadn’t even tried to mend things it would have felt wrong, being with anyone else would have felt wrong. Maria had been right all along, he couldn’t move on without closure and as he had worked out, he wasn’t quite as ready for closure as he thought. 

Isobel looked so happy to be hosting again, offering Maria drinks, showing her the house. And, surprisingly, Maria appeared to have gotten over whatever grudge she had been holding against Isobel, because she was being weirdly polite. Turns out Liz had told her everything. With Isobel’s permission, apparently the three of them had made nice and become friends. 

It was weird, being with the two of them, laughing and talking like everything was okay, like nothing had ever been wrong. And just like that Michael was lost. It kept happening, people would go about their days as if nothing was wrong and it felt like losing his footing, like the world just slipped out from under his feet and he couldn’t get back. Max was dead. As in gone. The world was meant to stop. Everything coming to a halt, But it didn’t. And even worse, Michael had fucked up so bad with Maria and Alex, neither of them should have forgiven him. Nothing was right and he just wanted to curl up and hide until it felt right again.

“Michael?” Maria was staring at him, visibly concerned. “Michael, are you okay?”

“I, um… I’m just going to- I just need some air.” He stood up, bumping the table and tripping over his chair in his rush to get out the back door.

He sat down on the grass, digging his fingers into the ground and looking up at the sky, trying to ground himself, keep everything in place. Alex didn’t hate him. Maria didn’t hate him. Isobel wanted him here. Max was dead. And it was going to be okay. But it really didn’t feel like it should be.

“Hey Michael.” Maria sat down next to him.

“Hey DeLuca.” Michael responded, trying to sound as casual as possible.

“So… You leave lunch at your own house in such a hurry often?”

“I’m just rude like that.”

Maria sighed and patted his hand. “Come on, Guerin, talk to me, I only barely convinced your sister not to pull a full on intervention.”

When Michael didn’t say anything she added: “She’s worried about you. We all are.”

Michael sighed. “I just… It just feels wrong.”

“What?”

“Everything.” 

How was he meant to explain to Maria that every second of every day felt wrong, any time he felt remotely happy, or comfortable, or anything positive, he felt sick. Because the world wasn’t right. And he didn’t deserve a happy ending. He didn’t deserve to feel at ease with Maria and Alex, even Isobel and Liz, because they shouldn’t feel at ease with him.

“Because Max isn’t here?” Maria had threaded her fingers through his.

“Yeah. And I’m not… I’m not a good guy.”

Maria squeezed his hand. “You feel guilty.”

Michael shrugged. 

“Not really guilty just…” He trailed off, he didn’t know what to call what he was feeling. It wasn’t guilty, or maybe bits were, the bits where he hurt Alex and Maria, but it wasn’t just that. He felt undeserving. Like, why did he get to be here, living with Isobel, making amends with the guy he loves who he fucked over, being friends with the girl he nearly dated and also fucked over. It wasn’t fair that Isobel lost her husband and brother, and Liz lost the man she loved, but he, the man who can’t even work out what he was feeling, gets a second chance. He shouldn’t. They should all cast him out, tell him he’s a terrible person and not to come back. But instead they were worried about him. Checking if he’s okay, trying to help. He wished they wouldn’t. He wished they would leave him alone.

“Hey.” Maria had shifted to sit in front of him. “Michael, focus on me. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“You shouldn’t even be talking to me.”

“Why?”

“I screwed you over, DeLuca! I screwed you and Alex over and I don’t understand why neither of you hate me.”

Maria’s expression somehow softened even more, but she didn’t look pitying. Michael appreciated that about her, she never looked at him like all she saw was a sob story. 

“Babe, we know you’ve had a bad few weeks, we know you’re sorry, you don’t need people who are angry with you right now, you need family. So we’re here.”

“But I don’t deserve it!”

“That’s not how love works. It’s not conditional, it doesn’t pick and choose whether you deserve it or not. As much as it pains me to say it, I care about you, Guerin, I want you to be okay. And I know at the moment you’re not.”

Michael closed his eyes. He kind of wished they would just be mad at him. It would be so much easier if they would just yell at him, then he could yell back and then go back to his Airstream and drown himself in alcohol. But no one was letting him, like suddenly everyone around him was interested in emotions and refused to promote endless repression of said emotions.

Maria pushed his hair out of his face, forcing him to meet her gaze. “Everyone around you spends all their time trying to convince you that you have a family here, Michael, when will you finally accept it?”

Michael didn’t know how to respond to that. All the times Max had told him he was his brother, that he and Isobel loved him, came rushing back. It had just… It always felt like a line, because he annoyed them, he knew he annoyed them, he knew they just felt sorry for him. So he never believed Max, and he never treated him and Isobel like family. But now Max was gone. And he felt like shit because Max tried so hard to make Michael feel like a part of their family and Michael never did anything in return.

And Alex, yelling that Michael was his family, pain evident in his voice. He was so scared of losing Michael, so scared he wasn’t willing to leave the building without him. And what had Michael given him in return? Nothing. He had just left him to sleep with his best friend. Alex should hate him.

“Alex couldn’t hate you.” Maria said, as though she could tell exactly what he had been thinking. “The same way you could never stop loving him.”

“I don’t-”

Maria shook her head, cutting him off. “It’s okay. We talked about this, I’m okay, but you and Alex aren’t. I know you think he should hate you but it doesn’t matter, because you need him. And he needs you. I don’t know what it is with you two but you fit. Something deep down is pulling you together and I think if you can work yourselves out you could be incredible together.”

“I weigh him down, we’re not good for each other.”

“Michael, Alex has been one of my closest friends for a long time, his entire energy changed when he saw you again. I don’t know what it is exactly but he feels lighter, more hopeful. I promise you, he feels better with you around. He wants you to be happy.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Why shouldn’t it be? Putting aside all your guilt, all the pain, and everything that happened with us, does he make you feel good?”

Michael paused. He hadn’t really thought about that, so wrapped up in all the terrible things he had come to associate with Alex and all the responsibility he had put on himself for hurting him. He had never thought to put that aside and think about just Alex, how Alex made him feel, the way Alex smiled, how gentle he was with Michael, the way he threaded his fingers through Michael’s hair and cradled his head, everything that Michael missed while Alex was gone. 

“He makes me feel so many things.”

Maria smiled. “How many are good?”

“Most of them.”

“There you go.”

“You think I should try to be with him.”

“I think you should do what feels right.”

* * *

What felt right was staying at home all day. Isobel had started back at work so he was home alone most of the time. She kept telling him to go out, go to work, do something, but he just kept telling her he wasn’t ready. It was mostly a lie. He felt fine to go back to work but he did not feel fine to go back to having to interact with people. And sure he could ask not to have to talk to any clients, it’s not like he did much anyway, but he just couldn’t get up the energy to get there. Besides, he liked being able to lay in bed until 12pm. Which was why he was kinda pissed when there was a knock on his door at 9am.

“Fuck off, Isobel! I told you, I’m not ready to go back to work.” He pressed his face further into his pillow as the door opened, determined not to be guilted out of bed by Isobel today.

“I’m not Isobel.” Alex’s voice made him flip over.

“Fuck, sorry, I didn’t mean to yell.”

“It’s okay, Isobel let me in on her way out, she warned me you probably wouldn’t be up yet.” Alex was hovering awkwardly in the doorway, like he wasn’t sure if he was welcome or not.

Michael nodded, getting up and searching for a clean shirt. “I um… I need to shower, can you… Will you wait?”

“Sure.” Alex sounded resigned, like this was exactly what he was expecting when he came over.

Michael really needed a shower though, it had been probably 3 days and there was no way he was letting Alex get close to him when he smelt like this. He showered faster than he ever had in his life, genuinely worried Alex might leave if he took to long, and frankly he wouldn’t blame him, tit for tat and what not.

But Alex didn’t leave, he was sitting on the couch, flicking through one of Isobel’s home decor magazines, when Michael got out. 

“It’s good to see you.” Michael offered, sitting down on the other end of the couch, inexplicably worried that if he sat too close to Alex he would leave. It was silly. Alex had come of his own volition, he wouldn’t just get up and leave because of something as trivial as him sitting too close. But Michael still felt like he was on thin ice, like even though Alex said he wasn’t willing to give up on this, one wrong move would be the end.

“You too. I um, I talked to Maria.”

Michael sighed. Of course she called Alex, presumably she told him Michael thought she and Alex should hate him.

“She didn’t tell me much.” Alex said quickly, as though he could hear Michael’s thoughts. “Just said you needed reassurance.”

“You want a drink?” Michael was fairly certain he would want a drink for this.

“No, I’m okay, can you just- can I just talk?”

Michael paused in the middle of getting up. “Yeah. Okay.”

“I meant what I said at Caulfield. You’re my family. When you showed me your ship and said you wanted to leave, I felt like I was going to lose everything, I just wanted to find a way to prove my worth to you, show you why you should stay. All I could think was I had lost you already. I left you and I kept leaving you and in that moment I realised I could actually lose you. That if I didn’t get my act together you might leave. For good.”

Michael stared at Alex. He hadn’t even thought- it never occurred to him that Alex could’ve been afraid of losing him, because he had been the one leaving, it had always been Alex who ran. And he knew he was hurting Alex, sleeping with Maria, but he never thought it had been something Alex had been afraid of for a while.

“We both screwed up, huh?”

Alex looked at him, smiling slightly. “Yeah.”

“I really love you, y’know?” Michael said quietly.

“That mean you forgive me?”

Michael reached out for Alex’s hand. “If you forgive me.”

Alex threaded his fingers through Michael’s and moved closer, other hand reaching to brush Michael’s cheek and settling against his neck. “You don’t even need to ask.”

Michael kissed him. And this time it didn’t feel like a crash landing. Alex was ready to be with him. Alex wasn’t going to run this time, Alex wasn’t going to hide or push him away, he was here. He was right there in that moment, a hand threaded through Michael’s hair and a hand pressed to Michael’s chest, right over his heart. 

“I love you too.” Alex pulled away just enough to whisper, close enough Michael could feel his breath on his lips. “I never said it, I should have, I’ve loved you since high school.”

Michael laughed, tugging Alex into another kiss but Alex pulled back again.

“I mean it, Michael, I need you to hear this, I love you, and it’s deeper than romantically, even if you hadn’t wanted to try this again, even if you had decided to properly date Maria, I still would have loved you. Do you understand that?” When Michael didn’t say anything he continued, “Michael Guerin, I love you, no matter what. Okay? I know you don’t think you have people here who care about you but you do and I need you to know that.”

Michael smiled, holding Alex’s face. “I know, babe, between you and Maria I don’t think I’ll ever forget people care about me again.”

“I’m serious, Guerin.”

“So am I, I’m telling you, every time I talk to DeLuca she brings it up, it’s getting annoying.”

“ _ Michael _ .”

Michael put on his serious face, grabbing both of Alex’s hands. “I hear you Alex. I swear I do.”

Alex’s eyes were watery and he was holding Michael’s hands like he was scared he would leave. “I know I’ve left you so many times so I have no right to say this but… Please don’t leave me, Michael, I need you.”

Michael pulled Alex closer, wiping his cheek with his thumb. “Babe, look at me. I’m not gonna leave. Turns out there’s no home out there to go to anyway. My home is here.”

“I’m sorry I hurt you.”

“It was a long time ago. You were hurting too. I think we’re even.”

Alex didn’t leave. Alex made him put on shoes and come out for lunch. It was… Normal, like they were just two guys on a lunch date, laughing, holding hands, talking like they weren’t an alien and the son of an alien hunter. Like they hadn’t spent over a decade dancing around each other and hurting each other. Alex drove him home and agreed to come in for coffee.

Then they talked. Alex apologised again and said he was ready to stop running. Michael told him he wanted this to work but he was still hurting. He told Alex about all of the horrible feelings and memories Alex was wrapped up in in his mind. He wouldn’t let Alex apologise again, told Alex it wasn’t his fault. Alex pulled him into his arms and told him he was ready to make new memories. Told him they could go as slow as he wanted. They agreed that it was time to properly reconnect, properly get to know each other. They slipped into conversation about themselves, the things they liked, things they hated, things they were scared of. Michael knew Maria had been right. When everything wasn’t clouded with pain Alex felt like… Like home. And getting to know each other, properly, beyond an inherent connection was the first step to making everything better.

Alex spent the whole afternoon with him, he even cooked dinner for them and Isobel. He went home after dinner, pressing a gentle kiss to Michael’s cheek, telling him he’d see him tomorrow. They had always gotten too intense too fast, throwing each other into a spiral, scaring themselves, and before long one of them was running. They weren’t going to let that happen this time. Because they needed stable and comforting more than they needed passionate at the moment.

Once Alex had left Isobel sat down next to him.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you that happy in a long time.”

Michael shrugged.

“You know you’re allowed to be happy. Max would want us to be happy.”

Michael took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “I know.”

“Liz hasn’t given up hope you know? She still thinks there’s a way to bring him back. She wants your help.”

“You’re the one who said I have to go back to work. I won’t have time to help her.”

“I just want you to have something to do. Something that doesn’t leave you moping around my house all day.”

“Hey! I went out for lunch today!”

“And that’s great! But that was just cause Alex was here. Alex can’t be here all the time. You gotta find something else that also motivates you to get out of bed.”

Michael sighed, Isobel was right way too often for his liking. “Alright, I’ll talk to her.”

“That’s all I ask.”

Isobel went quiet, she was leaning on her side against the couch, playing with his hair, looking at him like she was still worried about him.

“You know you’ve always been our brother? Me and Max. I haven’t lost my family because you’re still here.”

Michael looked up at her. “I know. I just… I hate that I never fully accepted it until…”

“He knew. He always knew you loved him, you didn’t have to say it.”

“I wish I had though.”

“We’re gonna be okay, Michael.”

Michael wrapped an arm around her, pulling her to lean on his shoulder. “We are. I’m gonna be here for you, Is, I know this stuff with Noah screwed you up and I want you to know I’m here. I’m in this. I’m gonna be a proper good brother. Or… I’m gonna try.”

Isobel looked up at him. “You’re doing great.” She grabbed his hand, “We’ve got this.”

He tried to make himself believe it. He had a sister. He had a new best friend who seemed to be able to read his mind. He seemed to have a friend in Liz. He had an… He had Alex. Maria was right. He had a family here. No matter how long he had thought he didn’t they had managed to slip into his life one by one. And they weren’t going to let him go. And for the first time he was thankful for that. That somehow, despite him being so prickly, people had managed to find a way to like him anyway. Despite how hard he had tried to keep everyone at arms length, they’d managed to get in without him noticing. For the first time in his life he didn’t want them to leave. He wanted to keep them close.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I'm thinking of doing a part two with more of a focus on Alex so let me know if you're interested and keep an eye out for it!
> 
> You can find me on tumblr @girlsinthestars


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